Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Eclipse Review

Hahahaha I'm sorry, I just can't stop laughing. People actually take this seriously? I could barely keep a straight face while watching, and it just begs to be riffed on. I know that I am clearly not the audience for this film, but I believe all movies should have a general appeal. However the Twilight "Saga" only attempts to appease those with a set of X chromosomes. Why the quotations on the word saga? Because I hardly consider it worthy of such of a title. Twilight is the movie equivalent of a boy band, and will hopefully fade from existence just as the boy band fad has.

Alright I'll take a moment to stop hating on, and mention somethings I thought were actually good. Granted that is a very short list. Generally the film is shot well, with quite of a few scenes showing off excellent levels of cinematography. However the movie shoots itself in the foot by selecting the worst music possible to accompany said scenes. Instead of music that would be appropriate for the scene it plays a song that would appeal toward an audience of teen girls.

There are a number of flash back sequences that tell the histories of a few side characters, and while they did not make me care about the characters in the slightest I enjoyed watching these moments over the actual movie. I'd watch a Civil War era vampire movie over this crap any day.

Now that I've gotten what I liked out of the way, back to trashing this garbage. The biggest problem with this movie is how damn boring it is. Nothing happens in this movie for almost two agonizing hours. The entire film builds up to this big battle against an "army" of vampires, but it only lasts for maybe ten minutes. Not to mention this so called army is only around twenty or so people, which I think classifies more as a posse than an army.

The acting is all over the place in this movie. If it's not the main character's abundant pauses with every line of dialogue, it's completely dull lines spoken straight off a script page with no emotion. There is one moment between the Jacob and Edward characters that felt genuine, and actually gave a bit of insight to the character's feelings. Then you realize how stupid it is that they hate one another over the worst girl on Earth.

Most likely if you are female it doesn't matter what I have to say about this film, you will go see it and love it despite its many flaws. So this prolly isn't going to change your mind. To any women out there who refuse to support this series I say rock on, and keep fighting the good fight. One day this will all be behind us, and we can forget the days when vampires sparkled.

Final Score: D+